So, here I am, writing my 99th post. Who knew I'd make it this far. Certainly not me.
Also, I sort of promised myself that I wouldn't entertain bathroom posts, particularly about my own actions, until at least the 101st post.
Well, screw that. We're throwing caution to the wind. I'm writing about it now. Number 99.
Yup, this is me. Living on the edge.
OK, so, the thing is. I'm a guy. This you know. You also know I wouldn't always fit into the category of 'typical guy.' Particularly when it comes to one of my bathroom habits.
I can admit it. I really can. Here goes. Ready?
Hi, I'm Mike. And I'm a SometimesSitter.
Phew. I don't know how you feel, but I'm feeling much better with that off my chest.
A SometimesSitter.
So what does that mean, actually?
It means that whenever I go the bathroom, of the number one variety, I'm not always standing over the toilet.
Sometimes I sit.
Why? I'm not really sure, but, I do.
And, you know what? I like it.
Let's look at a couple of examples.
I always sit at work. It's the easiest, cleanest and most convenient. I work in an office with mostly women. This way, I don't sprinkle anywhere, I don't have to worry about putting the seat down. None of that. Just sit down, take a nice little rest and that's it.
There's only one other guy in the office, so if the women find any leftovers or if the seat is still up, guess what? It's him. Not me. I take some comfort in that.
In other public spots, I'll choose not to be a SometimesSitter. It sort of depends on where and the overall cleanliness situation. But, that's the benefit of this. I can choose when and where I want to be a SometimesSitter.
I'm almost always a SometimesSitter when I wake up in the morning. As I trudge down the hall to go, I'm too asleep to concentrate on aim and all that stuff. Just sit down and go. What's the big deal?
Being a SometimesSitter is nothing to be ashamed of. This I know. In fact, I might be ahead of the curve on this one.
So, if there are, in fact, any guys reading this blog, how about it? Are you a SometimesSitter?
It's OK. In fact, it's more than OK.
So stand up, er, sit down and be proud.
What else? I got nothin'.
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24 comments:
Guys have it so easy. In most situations women are a NoWayAmISittingThere Sitter. We have to squat, which can be difficult depending on what outfit/footwear you're wearing that day. I envy you, SometimesSitter.
PS- Thanks for not leaving a mess and for putting the seat down. We appreciate it.
Ha! I agree with Molly - I am usually a NoWayAmISittingThere Sitter.
Also, I had no idea men sat. I don't even want to think about the logistics of it, but I'm glad you're being mindful of the lovely ladies you work with.
We SO appreciate it. I'm trying to train my three-year-old son to be a sometimesitter, but he is too taken with the whole "pull 'em down and whip it out" thing that he can't even entertain the notion.
And believe me, the cleaning crew in his bathroom would appreciate a sometimesitter.
I usually always sit in the morning, as I'm too tired to stand.
Other than that, I'm pretty much always standing.
Squatters,
I thoroughly enjoy both of your blogs. If you must squat, please clean up after yourself. This almost-never-squatter doesn't enjoy sitting in your piss.
Once upon a time, I worked in a 20 person office. None of us 5 girls squatted. The place was pristine-clean, so there was no need. Well, I guess our contracted marketing girl thought we were all skanks, because she would come in and squat instead of sitting in a perfectly clean bathroom. Of course, she was not a talented or kind squatter, so she ended up spraying piss all over the seat. Forcing us sitters to be squatters for the rest of the day.
That's why I named her the Hovercraft- a name she still carries in that office.
JC SAYS
Sit in the place where you pee
Point it SOUTH
And think about the girls
who have to follow right after you
If you get confused,
just check with your son.
Listen to his reason
When you have that calling
Sit in the place where you poop
Then go pee.
Sit down
Drop trou
You're busted
kinda like shake down by bob seger - but a little different.
you better sit down
if you need to pee
all the girls they're countin'
on you
You sit down when you pee
there aint no-shame-in-that
Woo hoo hoo
come on and pee
Between your knees
(For you Grease Fans)
Santana (I'm winnin')
I'm Sittin
I'm sittin
I'm si-hi-ttin
I'm a sitter
I'm a pee-er
when i'm pee-in'
I'm a sitter
I sit down so i don't have to stand
(Steve Miller Band - I'm a Joker)
Missing Persons
So what are seats for
Cuz no one's sittin anymore
there's no use sittin at all.
I wonder how you're peein'
I'm peein sittin down
When others choose to stand
and maaaake a mess
Peter Frampton 2'Fer (see below 2)
Oooooo - baby i love to sit
- when i pee
Wanna sit when I pee all day
- every day
Bon Jovi
Pee in the dark
and I sit down
dahlin' you give sittin and peein' a bad name
Billy Joel - Go to extremes
Billy Joel - Extremes
Sometimes i'm tired
Sometimes I'm shot
I don't want to deal with
Pee-in' staning up
Maybe i'm just finding
my latest thrill
Maybe i've set others up for the chills
Maybe I'll try standing up....
Darlin' i dont' know why i pee sitting down
when i stand up i just seem to wear a frown
and if i pee, on the seat
The girls they will know it was me
Darlin i don't know why i pee sitting down
Pee good pee good pee good
pee good pee good pee good
pee good pee good pee good
pee good miiiiiiiikey
How can I sleep if you pee while sitting.
The time has come, to say fairs fair
To lift the seat and to be a man!
Midnite oil
Peeing
While I'm sitting
Feels so lovely
Peeing
While I sit
Makes me high
John Denver
Eddie Money - Walk on water
Well if i could pee while sitting
Just think of all i could do
If i could pee while sitting
would you....respect me too
My love is so true.
Queen of Hearts - Juice Newton
Peeing While Sitting Down
Turns any frown upside Down
Standers are the only foooooools
always peein' on the seat for you.
Ok - I think i got it outta me....but, with me...u never know.
WOWOWOWOW. JC, I knew you were creative, but WOW.
Loving the Joker, esp. Oh, and Santana.
all the SometimesSitter power to you Mike. Be careful though...sometimes a good hover is necessary in the NoWayAmISittingThere situations that Molly referred to. But that is what is nice about you SometimesSitters...you have the options. Who doesn't want more options?!
Oh. My. God. I was drinking beer when I read your post... And dude, let's just say, I sprinkled.
:-D
Chelle
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